Social Anxiety

Growing up I never labelled myself as someone with social anxiety, I just assumed everyone felt the way I did. I grew up not doing a lot of things that people normally do as teenagers and young adults. 

I didn't go out at night.

I didn't make an effort to meet new people.

I clung to the things I was familiar with.

I didn't try new foods.

I didn't talk to people from different ethnic backgrounds or cultures.

I didn't make an effort to talk to boys ...or girls.

I didn't make any plans to travel.

I told myself that people who did those things were bad or wrong in some way. I told myself that I simply "didn't need to do" certain things. 

"I don't need to meet new people, I already have friends."

"I don't need to meet boys/girls, someone will find me eventually."

"I don't need to learn how to dance, that's something I can just avoid."

Social anxiety prevented me from fully expressing myself. I feel as though I'm constantly stuck on 80%. I reach a certain point and I tell myself "That's enough. You can go home now, you don't need to do this anymore." I stop myself before reaching my full potential. Because if I give 100%, what if it's still not enough?

What if I look stupid?

What if people don't like me?

What if I still fail?

Stop. Here's the truth:

Nobody is keeping tabs on how many times you look stupid. It doesn't matter if you look stupid, just do it. Look stupid often, it's a good way to learn and improve. 

If people don't like you, they aren't your people. You wouldn't want to be friends with people who judge so quickly anyway. 

If you fail, you have still made progress. Count every failure as a step towards your goal, and don't ever give up. 

My name is Tayler, and I have social anxiety, but I won't let it stop me.